The Randomness Continues

Thursday, October 13, 2005

International Olympic Committee Makes Controversial New Decision

This week, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) made a decision on what has been a very controversial subject in the last several decades: who is allowed to compete in the Olympic games?

Until 1992, the games were known as the highest medium for amateur athletes to compete at an international level. In the 1992 games in Barcelona, the rule was changed to allow professional athletes to participate in the summer games.

The result were uneven matches, such as the US men's basketball "dream team," featuring the likes of Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, and Magic Johnson, who faced a team from Croatia (which most of the players probably didn't even know was a country) in the finals, and slaughtered them 117-85; the closest margin of all eight games.

In order to preserve as much of the original spirit of the Olympics as possible, the IOC has handed down their decision and will strictly enforce it. The current issue first became a problem last summer during the 2004 games in Athens, when a player on Team USA's table tennis team, upset at not getting a medal, attacked the other athletes.

"Hulk was having bad year," The Incredible Hulk said in an interview with Sports Illustrated, following the incident. "Superhero jobs harder to find. Hulk smash, villains join union, hulk get sued. Hulk forced to find new job, has lots of time on hands. Takes up crochet, vollunteers at Animal Shelter, buy stock and set up 401(k). One day Hulk offered position on USA ping pong team. Hulk gladly takes. Now Hulk told Hulk not allowed within 100 feet of sports at all times, and all other super heroes banned from teams. Hulk angry! HULK SMASH! HULK SMASH!"

The decision has also effected other super heroes. "Of course I was upset," Aquaman said. "I missed the Athens games because of the whole doping-scandal, which I'd rather not get into, and was preparing for Beijing. And now, suddenly I'm not allowed!"

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"I don't necesarilly agree with the decision," Superman said in an interview earlier this week. "But I understand it. If you think about it, most super heroes are from the United States. When was the last time you heard about the great heroes of Brunei Darussalam?"

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Though the decision has met great opposition in the United States, the IOC plans to stand behind it. "We have no intentions of loosening this restriction," said IOC President, Jacques Rogge. "We don't care how often the IOC headquarters are Bataranged, expelled to Dimension X, covered in web, or attacked by Dolphins."

Monday, October 03, 2005

Mushroom Picture Collection: Part V

(Mushroom Picture Collections: I, II, III, and IV)

One of these things is not like the other! One of these things just doesn't belong!

Your mushroom wears army boots!

Mushroom with a halo?

Bath time for the Mushroom.

The Easter Mushroom?

A Mushroom nest, part I.

A mushroom nest, part II.

Back with nature, part 6: In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the mushroom sleeps tonight.

The Jolly Green Mushroom.


Mushroom and friend, part 4.

Mushroom brown-baggin' it.

Mushroom chillin'.

A mushroom-a-day keeps the doctor away!

Government Predicts It Will Take 13 Years To Accomplish What They Already Accomplished 36 Years Ago

Several weeks ago, NASA unveiled plans to key White House staff members to put a man back on the moon by 2018. The plan involves building a new crew capsule, main engines, solid rocket boosters and massive external fuel tanks. The $100 Billion idea was presented to an advisor to U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney and President Bush's personal activities cooridnator, who would brief the President about them after he has finished his graham crackers and apple juice.

"We're very pleased with the progress we've made," said NASA Administrator Mike Griffin. "We've come a long way since 1969-- well, in terms of technology. I mean, now we have several different flavors of Tang!"

A few days later, President Bush arrived at Dick Cheney's office carrying an enevelope bearing the official seal of the President of the United States. Inside were the President's own ideas for reaching the moon, complete with a blueprint and detailed instructions:

Step One: Build giant ladder.
Step Two: Climb ladder, blow moon up.
Step Three: Look for oil and candy inside.