The Randomness Continues

Saturday, April 30, 2005

I've found that a lot of my posts have started with, "I was flipping through channels, when..," which might be an indication that I need a hobby or a puppy or something. Anyways, once again I found myself exercising my right thumb when I came to MSNBC. Or MSN. Or is it MSNC now? MSNCA? MSNS? BSNBC? You know what, for all intensive purposes we'll call it the 'The Channel between CNN and Rupert Murdoch's Republican Propanda Machine, I mean FOXNEWS.'

So I was watching that network last weekend, when some interesting things caught my attention. First off was President Bush congratulating the new Pope, the clip went something like this:

"Laura and I would like to extend our congratulations to the new Pope, Pope Benedict the... Pope Benedict the... uh... um... I is one... what's V again? 7 and 1/2? What?! 5? So Pope Benedict the X5I? Wait, XVI. What's X? Gosh darnit. Dick! Get me my calculator!"

Then onto headline news:

Anchor: "Stay tuned after the commercials for our headlines."

Co-Anchor: Coming up, Ashton Kutcher talks about his new movie and what makes a good Romantic Comedy! Oh, by the way, there was a new Pope or something.

Anchor: (to co-anchor) "I really do love that Ashton Kutcher!"

I am so glad our media has it's priorities set. What priorities? I thought you'd never ask!


Section One: All Dubya, All The Time!
Sure, he's the President of the United States. I understand that he's going to be in the news a lot. But why do I have to hear about every little detail? I don't care if he choked on a pretzel, fell off his bike, or lost in a game of chess to a three year old! Tell me when he does something good, tell me when he does something bad, and tell me when he makes a total idiot of himself so I can write about it. Other than that, hold the G-Dub, please.
Section Two: Entertainment (no pun intended)
It seems that whenever I turn the TV on or read the newspaper there is some article about American Idol. Whether it's about a really good contestant losing, Paula Abdul crying again, or Simon taking 33 audience members hostage, it's always a top story. Why?? Who cares?! Unless that delightful William Hung comes back, I don't give a shit! And even then, I'll probably just laugh at how much he sucks and go find something better to do.
Section Three: Why is that important? You say so? Oh, okay!
These are the stories some executive decides are important, and the media grabs hold of it like Oprah on a check/a piece of cake. They usually last only a few weeks, and then comes the next one! We went from calling her Terri Shabooboo to being able to spell her name better than our own, to not even caring. Laci who? Oh! You mean the girl from that LifeTime movie! What happened? The Enron president did some inside trading?? THAT BASTARD! Oooh, a new Ashton Kutcher movie! (runs off)
Section Four: ...And by the way, The Pope died. Now Back to The OC!
These are actually important. Sure, the Pope's death got a lot of coverage, but that's because there are what, a billion Catholics in the world? What's the population of the Unite States? 295 million? How many Popes died? Only one?!? How many US soldiers have died? 1600?!?! Hmmmm...
Now that's a rant!


  • Just wow... I never thought of things like that.. and I still have no idea how you do. You are totally awesome... enough said

    By Anonymous Kali, at 3:20 PM  

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