The Randomness Continues

Sunday, December 19, 2004

George W. Bush named TIME magazine's Person of the Year 2004

For the second time, 43rd US President George W. Bush was named person of the year. He now finds himself among such company as Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, Bill Clinton, Richard ("the hous") Nixon, and The Computer!

Where does our President go now?

Nobel prize?
Academy Award?
Beating Cheney's high score in Tetris?
A blender on The Price is Right?
Beating Jenning's record for most consecutive nights on Jeopardy?
SI swimsuit edition cover?

.... wait.... that's not funny... that's disturbing....

Friday, December 17, 2004

I was in a book store yesterday browsing, and I saw a display of Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell near the front of the store. I stopped, picked it up, and was looking at it... when I noticed something...

I can't wait until my name can take up 3/4ths of the cover of a book I didn't even write! Posted by Hello

How strange! Tom Clancy's name appears in large font at the top of a book he didn't even write. And the actual author's name appears in light green, small font at the very bottom. Hmm. I wonder why they did that?

Could it be that David Michaels just doesn't have what it takes for people to want to buy his book, so they put Tom Clancy's name on it? GENIOUS!

These mega-writers like Tom Clancy and Stephen King (who, for all of you parents out there, released a children's pop-up book based on his story The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, which is about a young girl being followed through the woods!) can slap their name on any piece of crap, and it immediatley becomes gold. Tom Clancy has books, video games, and movies (he even has a movie that BEN AFFLECK starred in! That's a measure of success right there)... and yet he still wants money. Of course he does! Stephen King does too, but for him it's understandable. He needs to pay off his massive psychiatric bill.

A nice children's picture book usually is not found in the horror section next to Salem's Lot. Posted by Hello

Maybe one day I'll be able to make money for the hard work and hours of effort that other people put in. Hmm, that idea sounds familiar... but where have I heard it before?

"What's that called children?"
"Communism!" Posted by Hello

Oh right! Communism!!!
When one group completley controls the property of another without giving them any say in the matter!

Sunday, December 12, 2004

The other day, bored, I decided to flip through the TV channels. I was finding nothing but crap, until I came across the classic, Dr. Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas (see how I said classic, Jim?). As I was watching Max the dog get abused (see December 24, 2003's post), a thought struck me. What if this year things were different? What if this year, the who ("Talkin' 'bout my generation.") down in whoville fought back?

How, you ask?

Bring in some outside help, of course!

Since 2001, the United States has had a Department of Homeland Security, and it has worked for them! What's good enough for the citizens of The United States is good enough for Cindy Lou Who and her Christmas tree ("The light on that side really DOES light, Cindy! He's lying! He stole your ice cubes too!"). But who can put such a drastic change into place?


Tom Ridge is unemployed as of January 1st, 2005!!!!

Tom Ridge, defender of Who Hash Posted by Hello

Sunday, December 05, 2004

It's that season again. Posted by Hello