The Randomness Continues

Monday, November 01, 2004

BENNIFER EPISODE II: A New Hope (?)

It seems it wasn't even a year ago that the perfect couple, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, were warming our hearts and keeping our US Weekly covers full. But fate, cruel fate, intervened. Alas, she married Marc Anthony, and he's single...

..or is he? What's this I hear about another Bennifer? Could it be?! They're getting back together? (sigh) No such luck. Instead, Ben is dragging a different Jen to his Red Sox games. Jennifer Garner.

So what is it with Ben and women named Jen? Does he have an obsession? Yes. Is their relationship doomed to fail? Yes! And when it does, what will he do???

To aid our friend Ben along, The Randomness Continues has compiled a list of famous Jennifers that Ben could fall in love with! I know, we're so thoughtful.

THE JENNIFERS:

Jennifer Tilly: Sure, her voice is kind of annoying, but she was in Home On The Range. With Rosie O'Donnel! Come on Ben, Rosie! Rosie!!

Jennifer Aniston: Sure, she's married to Brad Pitt. But come on, it's not every day you get to go out with an Academy Award winner (for best screenplay, shared it with Matt Damon. I wonder who did most of the work?)!! Dump Brad, and date Ben! Didn't you see Pearl Harbor?!

Jennifer Gray: Cheer up, Ben. She might not be Jennifer Aniston, but they did play the same role of Ferris Buellers sister! (one in the movie, one in the TV show) That counts for something!

Jennifer Love Hewitt: Lips that touched Carson Daily's MUST be good enough for Ben's!!

Jennifer Granholm: Sure, she's the governor of Michigan. And it is true that she is married and has children. But it's Ben Affleck! BEN AFFLECK!!!!


Everyone else might make fun of you, Ben, but I've got your back.

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