The Randomness Continues

Thursday, November 25, 2004

After 80 years, America's Thanksgiving Parade exported over-seas

After 80 years of having a Thanksgiving parade in downtown Detroit, The Parade Company has announced that the parade has been exported to Japan.

"I feel this is the best choice for the people," chairwoman Deborah Dingell said. "Now they can get a much higher quality parade than they were getting before. Sure, they will have to watch it from the other side of the world, but think of how much money we will be saving! Back when we used American labor, we had to deal with all these so-called 'laws' that prevented us from doing things we wanted, like paying less than a dollar an hour and working 20 hour shifts!"

The community's responses have been just as positive. "Of course I think the change is a good thing," Bill Thompson, a former Ford employee who has been unemployed after getting laid-off over a year ago, said. "We get a parade that is a million times better than it used to be, and they get to save so much money! Just think how amazing the parade will look if they had used all that money to improve the floats! Of course, that money will instead be funneled straight into the pockets of the executives, but it doesn't matter. They're saving so much money!"

When asked what she thought would happen to the hundreds and hundreds of people who lost their jobs, and the ammount of income the city of Detroit will lose, Dingell merely cocked her head to the side and blinked.

(NOTE: This post certainly did not have an underlying political theme)


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