The Randomness Continues

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

When I watch the news, read the newspapers, listen to the news on the radio, or any other way I happen to catch the news that week (sometimes I see it grafittied on walls. "21 soldiers killed in Iraq, G-UNIT!") I don't picture the world as it is. Sure, I'm "insane" with an "over-active imagination" who ate "paste" as a kid, but I find my way a lot more entertaining. I picture it as an elementary school playground:

Instead of countries, there are kids. For instance, everyone picks on Canada and France, who are the geeky, unpopular type. "Hey Canada, that's a nice outfit, did your mommy pick it out for you?", or "Hey France, I'll trade you an inch of my cupcake for 3/39.37ths of your twinkie (I had to look this one up, 3/39.37ths is three inches). Haha! You metric geek!".

Of course, kids are cruel, and there have to be the bullies. America and England always try to get France, Germany, and Russia into trouble. Someone pushed China off the monkey bars? England and America point at Germany. Someone beat up Afghanistan and stole their milk money? They saw Russia do it. Ruthless, but of course they play it innocent.

Some kids are just plain bad eggs. Some are snitches. Take Pakistan and Iraq, for example. Both have been caught with fireworks before, and decided they would tell Principal Blixx that North Korea has bottle rockets in his locker.

Then there are the playground feuds. The biggest one is between Palestine and Israel over who gets to use the slide. It started out with name calling, then they started pushing and shoving, and now they throw rocks at each other over.

But in the end, the bell rings, and they all go back in for class. Iraq falls asleep, America and Britain get in trouble for passing notes, Palestine throws a paper ball across the room at Israel, and Canada is in the back eating glue.

Ahh playground politics, so much better than the normal kind.


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