The Randomness Continues

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

There really isn't a true explanation for why I think one of my teachers might be the Devil (or if not the Devil, then a close relative to the devil, possibly the Devil's barber). The truth is, I don't hate her. And by don't hate her, I mean I don't pray for a piano to fall on her (all though I do like the thought of it), like I did with my last math teacher (whom I truly believe might be the Devil's mother). The thing is, it's the fact that she teaches math that makes me dislike her. She's not mean, she's not strict, she's not a dumbass. She simply is a math teacher. Every new person I meet starts at 100%, except math teachers. They start at 0%. Occasionally, they might get on my goodside, in which case they could get all the way up to 1%! That doesn't mean I hate them as people. If they worked at a candy store, I might like them. But considering they are math teachers, I hate them. Why??



(THE FOLLOWING MAY, OR MAY NOT, HAVE HAPPENED TODAY IN MATH)



[EVIL MATH DEMON]: WORK ON YOUR 1,000,000 PROBLEMS OR SUFFER FOREVER IN THE BURNING LAKES OF SULFUR IN THE DEEPEST PITS OF HELL!!!

(whips the huddled masses of innocent students)

[EVIL MATH DEMON]: CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHAT YOU WOULD GET IF YOU'RE GIVEN LINE Q IS PARALLEL TO LINE S, AND YOU KNOW THAT THE PERPENDICULAR BISECTOR DIVIDES A HEPTACONAKAIENNEAGON INTO TWO DIVISIBLE PARTS WHICH FORM A CONCAVE ICOSITETRAGON THAT IS PERPENDICULAR TO LINE R, AND SUPPLEMENTARY TO LINE V?

[THE WISEGUY]: Two?

(EVIL MATH DEMON grows enormous and towers above THE WISEGUY, pointing at him with her spear made of the souls of years and years of helpless teenagers who were killed from having to do proofs)

[EVIL MATH DEMON]: FOOLISH MORTAL, YOU DARE TO INSULT ME WITH YOUR GUESS?????????? YOU SHALL PAY WITH YOUR SOUL!!!!!!!!!!!

(EVIL MATH DEMON pulls a lever that sends THE WISEGUY crashing through the floor into a pit of burning HANSON CDs)



That's more or less what happened. It's needless to say, I hate math. I'm an A student in every class, except math. I'm not worried though. If monder politics has taught me anything, anyone can get a really good job (like President of the United States of America, for example).

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