The Randomness Continues

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Now, I've wasted many an hour watching TV. I've also cured many a night of Insomnia/avoiding contact with the outside world, by watching, essentially, nothing. This nothingness is the number one highest played type of TV show. No, this isn't according to Nielsen ratings, or something stupid like that, this according to the RANDOMETER!

RANDOMETER:

63%: INFORMERCIALS
19%: CRAPPY KIDS SHOWS/REALLITY TV/SOAP OPERAS
8%: NEWS
4%: 2 STAR MOVIES
3%: SPORTS
2%: 3 OR 4 STAR MOVIES (USUALLY OLD JAMES STEWART MOVIES)
1%: TV SHOWS THE WISEGUY LIKES

How did I come to these percentages?? It was so hard, I broke 100% down to seven categories (DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME)!!!! The point is, INFOMERCIALS ARE TAKING OVER OUR LIVES. NO, JACK LALANE, I WILL NOT BUY YOUR POWER JUICE! NO CHUCK NORRIS, I WILL NOT BUY WHATEVER LAME EXERCISE MACHINE YOU'RE SLAPPING YOUR NAME ONTO NOW. AND BILLY MAYS... HELL NO. IF YOU KEEP UP THIS DIET OF CHEESBURGERS AND SCREAMING "BUY OXI CLEAN, MY CHILDREN ARE ADDICTED TO COKE AND I AM IN DIRE NEED OF A HEART SURGERY AND LYPOSUCTION!" Please, someone kill him before he explodes or has a heart attack. Remember Old Yeller? Take Billy Mays out back, and shoot him. Then tell Timmy (or whatever the hell the kid's name was) that you'll take him to the pound and buy him another fat man.

(NOTE: BILLY MAYS REALLY, REALLY SCARES ME)

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