The Randomness Continues

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

The WiseGuy was sitting on one of those large plastic chairs that have cup holders on the side floating in a big pool. All around him Giraffes, and CEO's of greedy corporations, and famous cartoonists, and Civit Cats fresh with SARS. The WiseGuy was enjoying himself, when all of a sudden a guy wearing a chicken suit appeared in a little boat, holding a big net. The little boat came up to the side of The WiseGuy's raft. The guy in the chicken suit looked at him. The WiseGuy looked back. They starred at each for about two minutes before the guy in the suit tackled The WiseGuy.

"NO!!!!"

"YES!!!"

"I won't go back!"

"You have to!"

"I was drinking Mr. Pibb! Doesn't that matter to you?"

"Mr. Pibb is just Dr. Pepper if he dropped out of medical school!"

"You lie!"

"You have to go back!"

"NO!!!!"

"YES!!!"

"It's not that bad!"

"Then why don't you go back?"

"Because I can't!"

"Why? If it's so great why don't you go!"

"I can't swim..."

"That's why?"

"yeah"

"..."

"SHUT UP!"

"I didn't say anything!"

"You were laughing."

"Not at you!"

"Then what were you laughing at?"

"... a funny... joke i heard once..."

"Oh yeah? How does it go?"

"I can't remember... it wasn't that funny actually."

"You're lying!"

"No, you are!"

"You have to go back!"

"NO!!!"

"I'll do it!!"

"No you wont... will you?"

"I WILL!"

"grrr"

Thus The WiseGuy was throw back in to chaos after a few minutes of bliss and Mr. Pibb. The man in the chicken suit paddled the boat back to the shore and sat back on his big chair. He would have done it too, but he probably would have been fired. They didn't look kindly upon skinny dipping, but he could see why The WiseGuy didn't want him to. But he liked his job. If he had, he knew he'd get fired. They didn't look kindly on that.

"Nice day Frank?"

"Meh, I can't complain Mr. G."

"Any of 'em try to evolve?"

"Yeah one. He wasn't that smart though. He was drinking Mr. Pibb."

"Yuck, doesn't he knows that's just root beer on 'roids?"

"I guess. Need a towel Mr. G?"

"Yes thank you."

Frank led a simple life. But like most people who couldn't swim, he was given a cushy job. After all...

Even the gene pool needs a Life Guard.

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