The Randomness Continues

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

Ah yes, the night before Christmas. Tonight all around the world families will be hanging stockings, decorating Christmas trees, getting drunk on egg nog, and then sitting down to watch some classic Christmas programs. They'll watch Charlie Brown's Christmas, Rudolph the red- nose reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, Dicken's A Christmas Carol, and of course the classic, Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas (sorry Jim, but not YOUR version)! The animated cartoon of this classic children's story is one christmas program that families everywhere will sit down and watch together. And they'll laugh. They'll laugh at the Grinch's heart being two sizes too small. They'll laugh at the funny lyrics of that song (You're a bad banana, With a greasy black peel). And of course they'll laugh as the waite opens the metal tray and the smaller waiters keep coming out until the smallest one comes out with a (is that a tomatoe? Or an apple? Or a clown nose? Or a dog heart? Or is it the final weapon from The Butter Battle Book (The Bitsy Big Boy Boomeroo)?) gift for Cindy Lou Who. And why shouldn't they laugh? Those are all funny parts in the story. But then they laugh at somethign that isn't that funny. Max the dog comes on screen.




"All I need is a reindeer..." The Grinch looked around. But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found. Did that stop the old Grinch...? No! The Grinch simply said,

"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!" So he called his dog, Max. Then he took some red thread And he tied a big horn on the top of his head.

THEN He loaded some bags And some old empty sacks On a ramshackle sleigh And he hitched up old Max.



Max is a dog being used as a reindeer. People laugh at him! Everyone needs to make money to bring home the kibbles and bits, am I right? Sure, he's envolved in some shady things, but he's not the one who stole the last can of who-hash (hash-browns of course)! He's just an unfortunate victim of the Grinch's evil plot! But he's laughed at the most! They laugh at him when the grinch puts the ridiculously large antlers on his head and he falls over. They laugh when he has to pull that large sled! They laugh when the Grinch covers him in wreaths! And for what?? In the end all he gets is one lousy piece of roast-beast??? Even Cindy Lou Who gets a bigger piece than he does! And what did she do? She just woke up and caught the Grinch with his pants down ("Santy Claus why, why are you taking our Christmas tree? Why?" But you know that old grinch was so smart and so slick he thought up a lie and he thought it up quick. "Why my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied, "there's a light on this tree that won't light on one side.")! Max pulled a sleigh that was about a million times heavier than he is, and Cindy Lou Who gets more roast-beast????? It's an outrage!

So this year, when you settle down with your family and watch Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas (No Jim, No)... go ahead and laugh as the Grinch shoots the christmas ornaments into the bag like pool balls. Go ahead and laugh as the Grinch steals the sugar plums from the Whos dreams. Go ahead and laugh when the Grinch gets stuck going down the chimney. BUT... DO NOT laugh at Max!

DON'T LAUGH AT MAX!!
DON'T LAUGH AT MAX!!
DON'T LAUGH AT MAX!!
DON'T LAUGH AT MAX!!
DON'T LAUGH AT MAX!!
DON'T LAUGH AT MAX!!
DON'T LAUGH AT MAX!!
DON'T LAUGH AT MAX!!
DON'T LAUGH AT MAX!!
DON'T LAUGH AT MAX!!
DON'T LAUGH AT MAX!!
DON'T LAUGH AT MAX!!
DON'T LAUGH AT MAX!!
DON'T LAUGH AT MAX!!
DON'T LAUGH AT MAX!!
DON'T LAUGH AT MAX!!

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