The Randomness Continues

Saturday, November 29, 2003

The WiseGuy looked into the fridge. He NEEDED a Mountain Dew. He looked all around the dark and bad smelling fridge, before his eyes fell upon the LAST can...

Can I take it?

Sure you can. Your brother was saving it for YOU!

Who are you?

I'm your conscience.

The good conscience, or the bad one?

Well, that depends on who you ask.

Ok then, where's the other guy?

Well, that's kind of a long story... you see, his brakes fell on my knife as I was trying to... fix his... tires...

I didn't think 8 inch, non-existant, fat men dressed as an angel and a devil drove cars.

I don't drive a CAR, I have an H2. That bum drives a Jetta.
What's wrong with a Jetta?

Oh please don't tell me you OWN a Jetta, let alone DRIVE one. How come I always get stuck with the insecure High School kids who have no taste in cars? 'Get a job' says the wife. 'Become a conscience' says the wife. And I listened--

... Are you done?

Do you drive a Jetta?

No.

Then yes, yes I am. What do you drive then?

Well... I don't have a car. But when I get my license I might be able to borrow my parents '92 Ford Aerostar!

...

Hey, it has three wheels and drives!

Aren't cars supposed to have four wheels?

I'm working on that!

Sorry I'm late, someone cut my brakes!

I wonder who that could have been!

Don't look at me... I was watching an "I love Lucy" marathon!

Sure you were. But that doesn't matter. WiseGuy, don't take the Mountain Dew. Can't you just drink something else? Like maybe a warm cup of orange-honey-ginseng tea?

Ginseng?

It's an herb!

I've heard that herbal stuff is similar to drugs...

Drugs? Really... maybe a sip or two won't hurt after all...

I assure you this is nothing CLOSE to drugs!

Then don't drink it WiseGuy. Why waste your time on a sissy little wuss drink that has 'ginseng' and 'honey' in it. We should go raid a liquor case or drink butter!

Butter? That can't be good for your heart!

Heart?

He's a demon WiseGuy, the closest thing he has ever owned that is close to a heart was a Teddy bear named JoJo!

Hey! Shut up or I'll tell him about a certain blanket someone carried until they got their harp!

Uhh, guys? I believe I have two consciences to help me make the right decision, not argue about each other's baby toys.

MAYBE I CAN HELP!

Who do you think you are?

Yeah, this is our turf

Uhh, I thought I only had two consciences...

YOU DID, BUT OCCASIONALLY FATE DECIDES MAYBE YOUR MAKING ALL THE WRONG DECISIONS...

So fate sent me a third conscience dressed as a monkey?

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? I WENT TO THE COSTUME SHOP TO LOOK FOR SOMETHING ORIGNAL... NOT A DEVIL OR AN ANGEL, BUT A MAN'S COSTUME!

So let me get this right monkey man, you're a third conscience?

Then what do you think he should do?

PERSONALLY I THINK HE SHOULD DRINK THIS MOUNTAIN DEW, THEN GO AND BUY ANOTHER 12 PACK AND DRINK ALL OF THEM, THEN REfILL THE CANS WITH WATER, USE A MAGNET TO PULL THE TAB BACK INTO IT'S ORIGNAL PLACE, AND LEAVE THEM IN THE FRIDGE FOR HIS BROTHER TO FIND!

...
...
...

So after much deliberation The WiseGuy fired both of his useless consciences, and went on making decisions with the monkey man, based completley on how much fun he would have laughing at other people's misfortunes based on things he had done... of course, with a man dressed as a monkey!

(NOTE: I learned how to bold and italicize things!)

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