The Randomness Continues

Sunday, October 12, 2003

Occasionally my level of insanity gets to the point where I don't know if I'm trying to be funny or not. Then I get a nose bleed and the microchip falls out... that makes it all seem rational again.

Mind control is so cheap. If I wanted to beat you that bad in checkers I'd just knock the board on the ground and shoot you. So stop caressing your forehead and watching THE PET PSYCHO-thingy... it's not working.

I'm starting to get one of those feelings that maybe my guinea pig is attempting a mutiny. He looked up at me with those menacing, pink eyes again. I gave him a carrot. It was one of those moments where I wondered if he DID have lazer vision... I covered his cage with aluminum foil today so if he ever tries it again it'll reflect off the foil and burn down his green igloo.

I saw a purple gold fish cracker today. I thought perhaps the end was coming. Then it came. But it was one of those bad endings where the main character dies, so I rewound it and took it back to Blockbuster.

STIMPMITS has this green jacket with the ninja turtles on it. I thought about killing him and stealing it in drivers ed once... then I remembered I wasn't a ninja, nor did I have any dental floss.

I read something about a new movie called Shanghai Dawn. I thought about telling my friend Dawn about it, then I went to hamster dance and forgot all about it. So if your reading this Dawn, there's a movie called Shanghai Dawn. Wooo, look at those hamsters dance.

I had a dream that I was an old dude and I was all out of randomness. So I went to the store and bought some, just to come home and find that I had some in the first place. I think I need help.

One time I woke up at 6:00 and looked outside and I was like, "Wow, this is what the morning looks like." It was freaky.

I have a friend named Meeko. He has big thumbs.

I saw a penguin dance website once. I thought about shooting myself with the ruler with all the presidents up to carter on it... I broke the ruler instead. Jimmy Carter will not judge me from an inadimate portrait any longer!

I was talking to PK in spanish once, we both think Meijers is like the coolest store because it has cap guns and dancing hamsters. I knocked over some cookie cutters there once. It was a happy day.

My friend Allison tells me she hates me on average about 2.76 times each day. Thats what friends are for!

I dont know why it took me so long to make this conclusion, but waffles truley do suck.

My moms nagging me now. I dont know why. I cleaned my room today... even though she WAS asking me to fold my shirts. I'm ahead of naggings. I need a break.

Ask PK, he'll tell you. The mexican donald duck IS trying to kill me. I know it.

I want to make a silent, black and white movie that just has two people in different costumes running through a field and hugging while romantic music is playing. They change costumes every time. That would be great.

I think my life ambition is to be better than Joe Millionaire. I should retire now.

I just realized that I shouldn't have to buy bottled water ever again because I have a swimming pool. I've had that pool ever since I was really little, but I just though of that. What a great idea. Out of my way Evian, this water (minus the dead animals) is better.

I was walking down the stairs once early in the morning before school when I had an Idea. If I just fell down the stairs now I could be resting easy in an emergency room bed instead of taking an english quiz. I tried but just ended up turning to sharp in the hallway and running into the wall. I didn't get to sleep in the cushy ER beds. It was a sad, sad day.

Someone once told me everyone can draw, they just have to find their style. As I look down at my stick figure Colin Powell I realize, that person didn't know what they were talking about.

I had a dream that it was my birthday and as I tore open the brightly colored boxes I found they each contained smaller, more complexly wrapped brighter colored boxes. It was a really really good dream.

I find that my life has no structure and neither as i have just found out does my writing my speaking or abilities to function as a working part of society

Some people blame their parents for the way they are now. My parents blame ME for the way THEY are now. Finally, the tables have turned.


Once someone had the nerve to tell me that I was wierd. I felt as if finally, life had meaning because they had shared their wisdom in pointing the obvious out. I laughed at them then found a rubber band on the ground. I was happy.

Further efforts to do as told and "get help" have come up short. My cat didn't feel like analizing my dreams today so I gave up.

I found out today that my closet has carpet in it. I was shocked.

Diet cola tastes like someone had a very cruel interpretation of the slogan "Same great taste, half the calories".

I was typing on my old computer today, when I realized that the F, U, and C on the keyboard were all broken. I laughed really hard. And to clarify, I was trying to spell Fudge Cake.

I found another website called The Randomness Continues. I got mad... then I read that not only was he older and smarter, he made his website 4 years earlier.

In a follow up, I've now decided to experiment with hired assasins. If it's anything like the new Quentin Tarantino movie, then Uma Thurman will be there.

I've decided to continue despite all clues that point to the fact that despite my hopes, she will not be there. But if his name happens to be BILL...

Do you remember the line in Field of dreams, "Is this Heaven?" "No, it's Iowa." I realized that perhaps, the two are distantly related.

Despite all medical advice, I've decided that one more pound of frosting WILL indeed make these old puffed rice thingies taste a lot less like foam.

To follow that up, it took 70.7698 more pounds of frosting before I decided just to throw them out. Man I have a frosting hang-over.


Post a Comment

<< Home