The Randomness Continues

Saturday, October 25, 2003

Hey, PK here. Project Duck-Duck Goose has been post poned to further notice, I have to get with the Wiseguy and decide on a date and then I'll post. I want this to be BIG, I mean BIG BIG. Like I want all the teachers to be talkin about it at lunch and just to confuse the hell out of all the teachers, so make sure none of them find out. Also Jan 25 is don't do your homework day, wouldn't it be great if no one in aclass/grade/school/town/county/state/region/country/continent/world didn't do thier homework on a certin day? so dont do it and again, let no teachers know


This week on The Randomness Continues we have tales of horror, death, and everything random (duh!). For the entire week we will all (STIMPMITS included) tell tales so scary they'll make you... uhh.. scared..

The WiseGuy had frequent problems with waking up in strange places... but this had been THE strangest of them all. He was dreaming about the time he made a peanut butter sandwhich and won the nobel prize in Math class, when he suddenly woke up.

At first he wasn't quite sure where he was... but then the strange creature appeared. Was this a nightmare? It had to be! The creature was hideous; the vilest, ugliest being he had ever seen! Its face was distorted, its hair wild and untamed. As it approached him it howled into the night. There were many of them, doing some kind of ritual dance and chanting. The WiseGuy was pinned down, so he begged for his life.

"NO! NO! You'll never take me alive!"

The creature approached, and continued its horrible chant:

"'Cause this is thriller, thriller night"


"There ain't no second chance against the thing with forty eyes"


"You know it's thriller, thriller night"


"You're fighting for your life inside of killer, thriller tonight"


(gargle gargle)

Thursday, October 23, 2003

Hey, im posting again because wiseguy threated 2 sneak into my house and last time some one did that.....we wont go there<----its a jock i mean joke, so never mind it, but EVERYONE tomarrow go to that hall space right outside all the Biz Tech classrooms at about 7:30, look for the black blob and sit and play duck duck goose with us right there in school, it'll be great.

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

WHOAH! The Randomness Continues has changed it's looks! Also, The Randomness (my old website) has moved to Blogger from AOL! If you have not yet been to The Randomness, go to the NEW site!">The Randomness: Where it all Began

Monday, October 20, 2003

I don't like assumptions. If people went by assumptions I wouldn't have a girl friend and would spend all my time making websites... oh wait...

But that's not the point. When you assume, you make an as out of su and me... no, that's not it... oh well, that's not the point either. The point is, just because I'm not good at math doesn't mean I'm not capable of haunting your dreams when I accidentally mix up numbers and blow up the world (my math teacher always says that one wrong decimal place will blow up the earth. I feel like asking, "Will two blow up Mars too? That would be cool.")!

Yes, I'm bad at math. But does that matter? When was the last time you were walking down the road and decided to use the Pythagorean theorem? Oh yeah, last week when you were down at the liguor store buying your stories and some of Jacks finest, right? Yeah, that's what I thought.

So next time I hear some punk freshmen say, "Your only in (my math class)? Wow, I'm in (some other math class that gets them drunk on a false sense of 'Hey look at me, I'm cool')! That means I'm smarter than you!" I'm likely to spaz out and hit them multiple times with a meat tenderizer.

There's your randomness for the day. So I leave you with some inspirational words of inspiration:

-Never walk, talk, pick your nose, and chew bubble gum at the same time... chances are you'll spontaneously combust when your brain increases it's maximum capacity to 0.0000007% brain power (Oh, I'm sorry, do you have a headache now?)!

Sunday, October 12, 2003

Occasionally my level of insanity gets to the point where I don't know if I'm trying to be funny or not. Then I get a nose bleed and the microchip falls out... that makes it all seem rational again.

Mind control is so cheap. If I wanted to beat you that bad in checkers I'd just knock the board on the ground and shoot you. So stop caressing your forehead and watching THE PET PSYCHO-thingy... it's not working.

I'm starting to get one of those feelings that maybe my guinea pig is attempting a mutiny. He looked up at me with those menacing, pink eyes again. I gave him a carrot. It was one of those moments where I wondered if he DID have lazer vision... I covered his cage with aluminum foil today so if he ever tries it again it'll reflect off the foil and burn down his green igloo.

I saw a purple gold fish cracker today. I thought perhaps the end was coming. Then it came. But it was one of those bad endings where the main character dies, so I rewound it and took it back to Blockbuster.

STIMPMITS has this green jacket with the ninja turtles on it. I thought about killing him and stealing it in drivers ed once... then I remembered I wasn't a ninja, nor did I have any dental floss.

I read something about a new movie called Shanghai Dawn. I thought about telling my friend Dawn about it, then I went to hamster dance and forgot all about it. So if your reading this Dawn, there's a movie called Shanghai Dawn. Wooo, look at those hamsters dance.

I had a dream that I was an old dude and I was all out of randomness. So I went to the store and bought some, just to come home and find that I had some in the first place. I think I need help.

One time I woke up at 6:00 and looked outside and I was like, "Wow, this is what the morning looks like." It was freaky.

I have a friend named Meeko. He has big thumbs.

I saw a penguin dance website once. I thought about shooting myself with the ruler with all the presidents up to carter on it... I broke the ruler instead. Jimmy Carter will not judge me from an inadimate portrait any longer!

I was talking to PK in spanish once, we both think Meijers is like the coolest store because it has cap guns and dancing hamsters. I knocked over some cookie cutters there once. It was a happy day.

My friend Allison tells me she hates me on average about 2.76 times each day. Thats what friends are for!

I dont know why it took me so long to make this conclusion, but waffles truley do suck.

My moms nagging me now. I dont know why. I cleaned my room today... even though she WAS asking me to fold my shirts. I'm ahead of naggings. I need a break.

Ask PK, he'll tell you. The mexican donald duck IS trying to kill me. I know it.

I want to make a silent, black and white movie that just has two people in different costumes running through a field and hugging while romantic music is playing. They change costumes every time. That would be great.

I think my life ambition is to be better than Joe Millionaire. I should retire now.

I just realized that I shouldn't have to buy bottled water ever again because I have a swimming pool. I've had that pool ever since I was really little, but I just though of that. What a great idea. Out of my way Evian, this water (minus the dead animals) is better.

I was walking down the stairs once early in the morning before school when I had an Idea. If I just fell down the stairs now I could be resting easy in an emergency room bed instead of taking an english quiz. I tried but just ended up turning to sharp in the hallway and running into the wall. I didn't get to sleep in the cushy ER beds. It was a sad, sad day.

Someone once told me everyone can draw, they just have to find their style. As I look down at my stick figure Colin Powell I realize, that person didn't know what they were talking about.

I had a dream that it was my birthday and as I tore open the brightly colored boxes I found they each contained smaller, more complexly wrapped brighter colored boxes. It was a really really good dream.

I find that my life has no structure and neither as i have just found out does my writing my speaking or abilities to function as a working part of society

Some people blame their parents for the way they are now. My parents blame ME for the way THEY are now. Finally, the tables have turned.


Once someone had the nerve to tell me that I was wierd. I felt as if finally, life had meaning because they had shared their wisdom in pointing the obvious out. I laughed at them then found a rubber band on the ground. I was happy.

Further efforts to do as told and "get help" have come up short. My cat didn't feel like analizing my dreams today so I gave up.

I found out today that my closet has carpet in it. I was shocked.

Diet cola tastes like someone had a very cruel interpretation of the slogan "Same great taste, half the calories".

I was typing on my old computer today, when I realized that the F, U, and C on the keyboard were all broken. I laughed really hard. And to clarify, I was trying to spell Fudge Cake.

I found another website called The Randomness Continues. I got mad... then I read that not only was he older and smarter, he made his website 4 years earlier.

In a follow up, I've now decided to experiment with hired assasins. If it's anything like the new Quentin Tarantino movie, then Uma Thurman will be there.

I've decided to continue despite all clues that point to the fact that despite my hopes, she will not be there. But if his name happens to be BILL...

Do you remember the line in Field of dreams, "Is this Heaven?" "No, it's Iowa." I realized that perhaps, the two are distantly related.

Despite all medical advice, I've decided that one more pound of frosting WILL indeed make these old puffed rice thingies taste a lot less like foam.

To follow that up, it took 70.7698 more pounds of frosting before I decided just to throw them out. Man I have a frosting hang-over.

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

The WiseGuy was sitting in math class listening to the teacher drone on and on... but all he heard was "blah blah blah look at me, I'm a big fat stupid jerk who thinks I am good at math, I like to wear underwear on my head!" As the hour progressed he found himself slipping in and out of varying stages of conciousness. By the time they reached Y=mx+b he had fallen asleep. When he woke up he was in the corner of a smokey bar in France during WWII. To his right was a man with 2 eye patches, to his left a man with two hooks as hands, and across from him was a man with two wooden legs.

"Hallooo noow cohmer, playse tull oos yur storeee!"

As he started his story a drunk monkey playing an accordian sauntered in. "Before the war my name was Adolf Hitl--"

The WiseGuy woke up in math class again. He was a little confused, and the left side of his face hurt. He thought, "Wow, that was a wierd dream." But then he started thinking about how he shouldn't fall asleep again...

When he woke up he was once again in the smokey bar...

"Halloo noow cohmer, playse tull oos yur storeee!"

A monkey smoking a pipe and playing a tuba sauntered in and began to play as he started his story. "I joined the war when I lost a bet on which was better, french wine of german beer--"

The WiseGuy woke up in math class again, the back of his head slightly numb and bleeding. "I remember this movie, it was the one about ground hog day where the guy is perpetually stuck in groundhog day... and he couldn't get out of groundhog day... I think it was called 'The day that never ended'". After duct taping his eyes shut The WiseGuy banged his head on the table to stay awake...

After knocking himself unconcious he woke up once more in the smoke filled bar.

"Halloo noow cohmer, playse tull oos yur storeee!"

As he started his story a monkey sniffing glue walked in playing a harmonica and did a short tap dance then died of noxious fumes.

"My story starts out very similar to the movie 'The Cable Guy'---" The WiseGuy woke up again, this time missing a large part of his face. "Ok, this time I wont fall asleep, no matter what happens!"

"WiseGuy, take out your pencil it's time to take your SUPER HUGE MATH TEST!"


The WiseGuy once again woke up in the small smokey French bar...

"Halloo noow cohmer, playse tull oos yur storeee!"

As he began his story a crack addict monkey came in and shot the place up and then left to pursue a career in politics.

The WiseGuy woke up in Math Class as the test began, then a monkey dropped in through the roof and blew the entire class up.

... the monkey woke up and found himself stuck in The WiseGuy's dreams. "Man, I could have showed up in an importanat person's dreams like George Washington, Carrot Top, or STIMPMITS... but Nooooooo!"

Monday, October 06, 2003

STIMPITS was asked the same question he had been asked thousands of time in his life

"Hey STIMPITS is that your natural hair col- OH MY GOD AGHHHHHH THERES SO MUCH BLOOD... gurgle gurgle..."

Only this time he had a samurai sword...

Thursday, October 02, 2003

Dear Santa Clause,

Yes I do realize it is the first week of October, but this year I decided to send in my ultimatum (some prefer to call it a list) in early to receive the PROPER tributes (some call them gifts) this year. I do recall specifically writing "ISLAND IN THE SOUTH PACIFIC" and "PLUTONIUM" on my list... and was rather unenthused when I instead received socks. To clear up any unfortunate circumstances, when I send it I will include a picture and a chart that lists size, quantity, weight, color, price, and number of UN regulations you'll have to break. Yet I believe such a strong corporate Icon such as yourself would be glad to see such an efficient usage of my time (other than homework). Oh, and one more thing, I would like to clarify that "diamond" did not mean coal... I found that a cruel and unusal interpretation.

PS: Lay off the egg nog this year.

Yours in business,

The WiseGuy and the entire staff of The Randomness Continues