The Randomness Continues

Monday, September 01, 2003

A large percentage of Americans have problems. But a slightly smaller percentage have a major Problem. A life threatening problem. Dot addiction. Dots are the gateway punctuation mark. They lead to colons, semi-colons, parenthesis, and maybe the deadly asterisk. If you, or a loved one has an addiction to dots, you should take action before it gets too bad. Thats why a big percentage of the slighly smaller percentage of the larger percentage of people addicted to dots use Nicordotte. Whether the gum, or the patch, it is a step in the right direction.
You can't do it, but Nicordotte can!

Sadly, many Americans die of an OD; or Over Dotse, each year. This can be prevented. Many healty alternatives to dots have been invented, such as the comma, or the bracket. Yet some people disregard all medical knowledge and use dots too get "literate". Let me tell you, I use to be a user back in the day when know one knew the consequences. My friends and I would stay up late learning just to get the buzz you get from being "literate". But it wears off; unfotunatley the side-effects don't. You may remain in the lower stages of being "literate" for several hours. You might even wake up the next morning feeling "Inteligent". But these feelings will pass after taking good old fashioned drugs.

Unfortunatley, for many the consequences of doing dots are smaller than the feeling of being "literate". Yet, one day you'll reach the point when being "smart", or "intelectual", or "knowledgeable" will wear off and you'll realize you've made a mistake. For those of you who have realized your mistakes and want to stop using dots, but can't because of the addicting nature of punctuation marks, your relief has come. Nicordotte. Whethere you chew nicordotte gum, nicordotte orange gum, or use the step-by-step nicordotte patch that slowly adjusts the ammount of dot until your cravings dissapear; you're still trying to quit. Anyone who has tried to quit dots before will tell you it's not easy. But when you wake up feeling normal and using sentences like "It aint time to wake up", or "Me and him are gonna go into town"; you'll realize just how much Nicordotte has helped you.

If you have a serious problem you may consider joing a local DA; or dotsaholic anonymous group, or checking into a punctuation rehab. Nicordotte should not be taken without consulting a doctor. Nicordotte may cause minor side-effects such as severe internal bleeding, going blind, death, and spontaneous combustion. Pregnant or nursing women, the elderly, the sane, children, middle-aged men, and clowns should not take Nicordotte. Nicordotte should not be taken while using heavy, medium, or light machinery; not to mention anything harder than breathing. You can't do it, but Nicordotte can!

DRAMATIC RE-INACTMENT:

...
Big deal, so I use dots. It's not like it can hurt me?
...
Right? I mean, if it was dangerous they would warn me.
...
Surgeon what's warning?
...

END DRAMATIC RE-INACTMENT


If this man weren't so busy "learning" he might have payed attention to the fluorescent pink WARNING: MIGHT KILL YOU, MORON labels on the front of packs of dots. You dont need to "learn" to be happy. Enjoy life. Nicordotte helps people who were lost become found.

DRAMATIC RE-INACTMENT:

I used to do dots. I was smarter, but was it all worth it? I got beaten up a lot, called a nerd, geek, dweeb, spazoid, spazwod, and other names. But then i "learned" the true effects of dots. All of those years of wedgies, swirlies, and wet-willies just because of dots. Thank you for helping me find the light Nicordotte.

END DRAMATIC RE-INACTMENT

Nicordotte can help you help yourself. So if you have an addiction to dots, don't wait till it's too late and your a doctor. Do something about it now.


You can't do it, but Nicordotte can!

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