The Randomness Continues

Monday, July 07, 2003

Hello, and welcome back to the randomness. Today we have a very special treat! Today is only 172 days until christmas! Hooray! You may be wondering why my last few posts TOTALLY SUCK! Well... it seems I've lost my mojo. My writing mojo that is. I wrote a TON of stories the last few weeks and it seems I killed my writing mojo. You may be wondering what the difference between a normal mojo and a writing mojo is. Well... for one thing, the word "mojo" is owned by New Line Cinema... I guess thats the only reason there, so I shouldn't have said "one thing". There you are... the fact that my writing mojo is gone... or atleast in very limited supply. It's like the limited supply of authentic idiots. The idiots today... man, they don't make 'em like they used to. Back in the olden days an idiot wouldn't go "duh... I'm an idiot." They were oblivious to the fact that they were any less inteligent than the rest of us, which made them funny. But todays idiots TRY to be stupid. I mean, how stupid is that? I don't try to be stupid... it just happens when I do every day things. Let me explain:

Authentic Idiot:
Mr. Bean: You all know this show. It's great because this guy, Mr. Bean (Rowan Atkinson) does not try to do the stupid things he does. He just does them because he thinks that's what everyone else does. He doesn't be dumb on purpose, in fact, he turns it into an art!

Fake Idiot:
Johnny Knoxville: Yes, we've all seen HIS Mtv show. The first time you see somebody hurt themselves to be funny you laugh just becase seeing someone do something stupid to themselves is funny. Then you see that they will go to extremes to hurt themselves for a TV show that is shown at like 1 am for insomniacs who happen to be blood thirsty maniacs!

Now there is the difference. Mr. Bean doesn't know better. Johnny Knoxville is just retarded.

A WiseGuy once said:
-If all is fair in love and war, then why is there no United Nations for dating? I mean, if all is NOT fair in war and they need to have the UN keep it fair, then why is there no Hans Blix checking someone out before they go on a date? Maybe they have weapons of mass destruction or something.
-If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then why are there copyright laws? Shouldn't the people who you copy be happy because you're saying you like what they do by copying them?
-If every action has an EQUAL and OPPOSITE reaction, then why when you buy something for 50.00 don't they pay you 50.00? Handing them 50.00 is an action, giving me back 50.00 is EQUAL and OPPOSITE because he's now giving ME back 50.00. I think somebody got fired for that mistake.
-If love is the greatest language of all, what is the alphabet of love?
-If a black hole is invisible, then how do we know space isn't just one big black hole?
- Who invented the idea of Monday mornings? Someone must have said, "Hmmm, lets see. We need a day where everyone throws on their clown suits, hops in a car, and leaves the comforts of their bed at the earliest, most inconvenient time of day!" But now I realize, if we didn't have mondays, tuesday would suck.
-Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, eggs are for breakfast and chicken is for dinner. There you go, I solved it!
-What does X equal? X is a letter between W and Y.
-What are the numbers in Pi? Whoah are you dumb, first of all it's PIE. Second, there are no numbers in PIE it's a word, not a number.
-If a tree falls in the middle of a forest, and no one hears, does it make a sound? Yes, "Crrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaackkkkkkkkk".
-What is with the statement, "A god fearing man"? I think Ian McKellen from the Movie X-men said it best. "That is such an odd statement. I always saw god as loving and caring." It's strange isn't it?
(NOTE: I DIDN'T FEAR MY CEREAL)

What did I tell you, my writing mojo is depleted. All I have left is witty observances! AHHHH!

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