The Randomness Continues

Monday, June 23, 2003

The WiseGuy sat at his PC (personal Confuser) nursing a bottle of Jones soda. He stared at the sky and watched as dumbo the elephant was shot down by an F-16. Then he looked in the bottle, and reassured himself by looking at the label. "Nope," he thought to himself. "It's not alcoholic." The rest of the day continued like an old car with bad brakes in that there was a lot of squealing and smoke. The squealing was his guinea pig, the dictator who slept in a green igloo. The smoke was just one of the many things he accepted day to day, kind of like breathing, except this involved something catching on fire. All the same he ignored it and checked his email. He didn't want viagra, or a second mortgage (did he have a first?)... but then there was a letter that cought his attention... nope, just a letter telling him about a miraculous new age reversing pill... which made him think of his up coming court case with the (random acronym for the people who handle drugs and such) about his sales for STUPINOL. He looked out the window again. Hmmmm, they were scraping dumbo off of the neighbors roof... tough luck, he was no bambi. Then he looked back at his confuser. Several pop-ups came at once and some guy sitting in the AOL headquarters appeared to be the villain in a silent movie:

::VILLAINOUS MUSIC PLAYS::
::MAN IN BLACK CAPE WITH HAT AND BEARD RUNS OUT AND SILENTLY LAUGHS AS HE PUSHES A BIG BUTTON::
::CAPTIONS APPEARS::
"Haha, and now to destroy the WiseGuy's connection to AOL. Ahahahaha."
::MAN IN BLACK CAPE LOOKS OUT HIS WINDOW AS BIG PLUME OF SMOKE APPEARS::
"Haha, now I destroyed the WiseGuy's connection to AOL. Ahahahaha."
::MUSIC ENDS::

He had to remember not to send that guy a fruit basket at christmas. His computer was overloaded as another advertisement for Disney appeared on screen and his confuser exploded in a woosh of confetti. Outside he cursed dumbos name. Back inside he looked at his Jones, and thought reasuringly "Maybe life isn't so bad..." as he took a sip and choked to death as the vile liquid filled his lungs and he exploded in woosh of confetti. Outside dumbo cheared... despite the fact that he now covered the area of 15 square miles. Stupid Elephant.

The moral of this story:
-Don't go water skiing with guys name Jimbo
-Go to my new website: http://acollectionof.blogspot.com/ for a collection of my writing
-Snails dont make good soup

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