The Randomness Continues

Sunday, June 15, 2003

Hello, and welcome to The Randomness where Corporate Scandals Week has been postponed to NEVER because of lack of interest in the people I was going to interview. But even after all of this The Randomness is finally getting a co-writer! Tafony, aKa STIMPMITS has agreed to join on The Randomness and will be posting sometime. So until then, lets all sit down and enjoy some good old fashioned home cooked Randomness. Today I was having breakfast when God appeared to me in my cereal bowl. Not one to over react I asked him why he chose to appear to me in a bowl of Lucky Charms and not in a burning bush or as a cloud. His response was, "Chill out dude, I like that funny Leprechaun." So God is skater punk? Deep down I kind of always thought he would be. I continued my conversation which gradually turned towards toasters. "So you put the pop-tart in... push down on the little thing at the end and then in a few minutes it comes out warm??? That is so cool!" I never really knew that even after creating everything he still had never had a pop-tart or seen "The Matrix". The whole day was full of fun and strange looks, mainly because most people don't go bowling with their breakfast cereal. At the end of the day I asked God, who asked me to call him Big G, "There's a question on everyone's mind. Everyone wants to know the answer, I was wondering if you could tell me." Before I could ask him he said, "Let me guess... what is the meaning of life right? All you humans care about is why you're here. I mean, you have pop-tarts and slinkys, but all you care about is the meaning of life? Well I have to go appear in a new Snoop Dogg music video, so you're on your own man." I stood there bewildered as the almighty left, and all that remained in my bowl were heats, stars, and horse shoes, clovers and blue moons, pots of gold, and rainbows, and me red balloons.... thinking about my real question. How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop. Like Mr. Owl said... the world may never know.

(NOTE: FOR ANYONE WHO MIGHT HAVE BEEN OFFENDED BY THIS, YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THAT IN ORDER TO ACCEPT IT... REPLACE "GOD" WITH "HOOGABOOGA" AND YOU WILL NO LONGER FEEL LIKE HURTING ME)

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