The Randomness Continues

Wednesday, June 18, 2003

Hello and welcome to The Randomness, the only site that does not know who Abid Hamid Mahmud al-Tikriti is, or do we really care.... but CNN has been blaring his name for the last several hours, so why not? Lets get everybody built into a frenzy about how he "could" know where the pieces of Saddam are.... I hate the media so much. But anyways, to celebrate the fact that this website has been around for a month and has only been given hate mail 5 times... we have A GLIMPSE INTO THE ROOM OF A WISEGUY. Ever wonder what a geniuses room looks like? Well, it's small, full of books, hard wood floors, and a huge bed made out of mahagony. But what about my room? Well, it's small and filled with garbage. I think there has only been two times EVER where I couldn't see the floor of my bed room because there was so much junk on it. When I was like 5, and now. When your 5 you have a ton of toys. You haul some out, play with them for 5 minutes and then haul some more out... and the vicious cycle continues until you can't move. Well that's kind of like the way it is now, except in place of toys I have:
-Papers from school that are waiting to be burned
-Clothes that I'm to lazy to pick up
-Junk... there really isn't a reason this is there... it just kinda is

So how do I clean my room? Here are some steps that everybody (every guy) can relate to:

Step One: Decision to clean room made by spouse/mom/land lord/department of national security.
Step Two: State of Emergency issued, several runs to the store to get garbage bags/dynamite.
Step Three: Process involves several hours of "pretending to be cleaning while really inside room with door closed, music playing so loud no one can here if your working, sleeping on the bed covered with garbage.
Step Four: spouse/mom/land lord/department of national security usually resorts to some kind of motivational threat, as in "If this room isn't cleaned I'm going to kick you out".
Step Five: Process gets underway in the "excavational phase" where most of the time is spent digging through clothes, boxes of old clothes, boxes of new clothes, pizza boxes, etc.
Step Six: Process ends about 2 days later when stench becomes unbareable, and you end up throwing EVERYTHING out.
Step Seven: Repeat process 6-12 weeks later. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

So now if your spouse/mom/land lord/department of national security asks you to clean/excavate your room/living area you know what to do. I'm out/gone/leaving/bye.


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