The Randomness Continues

Thursday, June 19, 2003

Hello, and welcome to The Randomness, The only website good enough to bring the news to some poverty-stricken third world counties. Have you ever thought about why somethings are? I know I do, and that's why today I will ask the top 10 questions on my mind (and then answer them... wierd huh).

10. What is so fun about the Rubix Cube??
-Personally, I hate those things. One day I see one lying on table, so I pick it up and try to solve it thinking, "I havent done one of these in such a long time!". Well about 5 minutes later I throw it against the wall and walk away saying, "I'm never going to pick that stupid piece of junk up again!". A few weeks later I'm walking in the room when I see a rubix cube and think to myself..... and thus the vicious circle continues.

9. Why do we (we being girls age 7-13) like boy bands so much?
-Think about how they were created: Some old, bald, fat, guy found the talent for just about every boy band we have. Then somewhere between "BackStreets Back" and the realization that "BackStreet" will never leave... they all sued this guy. So we (we being girls age 7-13) listen to their songs about Love, and love, and love, and love.... wait a minute. They sued their creater, the guy who have them their big break to become famous, but all they sing about is love????

8. What is it about bubble gum (or all kinds of gum)?
-Gum is something that loses taste very fast, it gets caught in your teeth, and most of the time it makes your mouth dry. Yet if someone pulls out a pack of Juicy Fruit in a crowded room, everyone is trying to get some. If cigarrette companies started making bubble gum what would be the chance that soon you'd have to be 18 to buy bubble gum???

7. Why do people go to extremley fancy restaurants?
-I was watching this cooking show about the most fancy restaurants in the world one time. Every single one they showed served hardly any food. Then why in the world do people spend like 50.00 buying something that my dog would ignore it’s so small (well, thats a lie considering my dog eats plastic)? You could keep that 50.00, and go get McDonalds.

6. Why is everything so incredibly expensive at movie theaters?
-I was going down the road yesterday when I saw one of those stands where little kids are trying to make money to go buy pokemon cards. Of course, I told my dad to go faster so they won’t see us. But I had to notice their prices. 75 cents for a pop. Thats pretty good. Now we look at movie theaters. When I saw X2 I was walking out and I noticed the pop machines were charging 2.50 a pop. Then I had an idea: Go to the pokemon kids, beat them up and steal their pop and then smuggle it into the movie theater! (NOTE: IF YOU WANT TO BE A GOOD SAMARITAN DON’T DO THAT... THERE ARE OTHER WAYS. NOT AS FUN... BUT THERE ARE OTHER WAYS.)

5. It’s not Tv, it’s HBO. Then what the heck is HBO?
-HBO (the hobo network as I call it) claims they’re “Not Tv, it’s HBO”. But technically HBO is seen on the TV. So what the heck is it? A movie channel? That’s still TV. Did somebody say false advertising? (I know I didn’t, I love the hobo network).

4. Why is Godzilla so popular?
-So a giant green dragon thingy goes around crushing buildings and killing people, but then Mothra shows up and he’s like a Japanese god???? I’m so confused. I was watching some mothra movie where he fights this dragon thingy, talks to these normal sized boys, who then talk to these super small princesses that hold porcelin swords. What good would a porcelin sword do??? Crazy Japanese.

3. What’s the deal with Coffee?
-I am one of those people who drinks non-diet pop, who doesn’t touch anything that says caffeine free... yet I hate coffee. Coffee is like the mother of cafeinated drinks (with Mt. Dew being her slacker son), yet I hate it so much. It smells good... tastes bad, looks bad, feels bad. Maybe I’m crazy (which I am), but I don’t see the appeal of hot drinks. Give me a nice cold one (and by that I mean pop) any day.

2. Why is batman a superhero?
-What does it take to be a superhero? (NOTE: THIS IS DIRECTLY FROM MY OTHER WEBSITE)
To be a superhero you have to have SUPER powers, if you pull timmy O'toole (simpsons) out of a well you may be a hero, but did you pull timmy O'toole out with your super strength while wearing your spandex and your mask that conceals you are a normal person who uses his super powers to combat those of an evil genius who's powers are not even close to his, but threatens the life of all of the people in the town with a name that ends with "--opolis" by using his massive army of evil henchman wearing cotton ski masks who all are about the same hight and IQ along with a group of evil friends who splot schemes to destroy the town and rid the world of their common enemy whom all have been captured by and eventually escaped!!!! (Breathing heavily) I thought not!!!!! Now you may be saying, well batman has all those things, no. You have to have powers given to you on a distant planet or that you got in a freak accident. NOT BEING RICH!!!

1. Why can’t real life be like cartoons?
-Whylie coyote is chasing the road runner. He’s running so fast he doesn’t even notice he’s coming to a cliff. He stops, there’s smoke around his feet, he looks back and see’s the road runner. The smoke clears and he’s standing on air. He looks down, puts up a sign that says “yipes” and then falls. Wouldn’t that be cool? You can’t fall unless you acknowledge your going to fall by looking down. SWEET! GOODBYE FEET! Lets look at another way cartoons are better than real life. Daffy duck is arguing with Bugs Bunny about whether it’s duck season, or rabbit season, while Elmer fudd stands next to them with a shotgun. They continue their argument until Bugs Bunny finally gets Daffy to agree it’s duck season and he screams “FIRE”. Elmer shoots him and all that happens is his beak gets turned around. AH THE SWEET BLISS OF CARTOONS. MY FIRST, AND ONLY TRUE FRIEND.

Well that’s it, I hope you liked hearing all of the craziness in my mind escape with a loud “SNAP, CRACKLE, POP”.

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